Appa, Coffee and Me

Cheers Appa, MTR coffee!  Today in my part of the world, it's January 26th, I am 3 days late in writing this blog. It was Appa's Birthday, on 23rd and he would have turned or he turned 94 years! And it will be 6 years, this June 2nd, he left us(my brother and myself). Life is moving on, days, months, years are passing by. Our kids are growing up, already getting ready to spread their wings and all the preparations are going on, to flying out of the nest, in search of their own life, shaping them, creating them....! I will miss them...! Appa never expressed how he felt....but I always knew, he missed me very much. I saw in his eyes! The eyes conveyed millions of emotions. But he never expressed anything, until my last visit. Well, we both did not know it would be the last time I will be seeing him alive, 6 years ago, the same time, in Jan when I spent one month with him, when he was unwell. Before leaving, I hold his hands and said 'I will miss you, Appa'! And for that h

 It's been a long time, me writing a blog. Life is going on too fast, craving my attention in all directions, and am struggling, juggling, handling or try to handle each and every single thing, in the best possible way, I can. Or at least I am thinking I am handling in best possible way!  At the end of the day, when I hit the bed and try to rest my body and mind, turn my face side ways and try to find a comfortable, relaxing, resting position or part on my bed and try to ease down, try to calm down myself from all the running around, stressing myself, trying to be the best, neglecting myself so much.....! Still so many things pending to do or my head would be planing for the next day or my heart would be judging me that, this thing I could have done better or this I should not have mentioned or many times, oh I should have answered in a better way...! Mind can't just shut down or wind down and sleep, just sleep!  Among all these thoughts, all these running around, pleasing ever

It’s been a while, I blogged.....as we are all in the middle of Pandemic, well, am assuming middle of pandemic, whether we are in the middle, end or still in the beginning, time will let us know! Actually not busy, is life, as it used to be 5 months before. Yet, some kind of anxiousness all the time, keeps you occupied and not allowing you to do things or enjoy things you would used to do, before.  So I haven’t blogged though I felt many times!  Past 48 hours there was power outage because of hurricane and strong fierce full winds and rain.  As the trees fell and electric poles fell, it disrupted the entire state’s power supply, leaving people in anger and frustration. As it’s hot summer, without Air conditioning it’s miserable. All the food in freezer and refrigerator gone bad and had to throw the food. Husband’s official work got disrupted as there is no power or internet connection.   But power came back after 48 hours, and this morning, we lost power for few mins, but came back.  Y

Today is Appa’s ceremony! Completes, 3 years, since he passed away. He turned 91 years, this year, he was a strong man, except he fell ill, after, Amma left. He was/is a strong influence in my life. His principles and outlook about life has greatly influenced, just not to me, many people used to come and talk to him, listen to him and respected him a lot. His philosophies about life, the way he used to connect those, to real life issues, was amazing! As he used to call himself as a ‘self made man’, which is one hundred percent truth. He lost his father at the age of four, and 4 years later, Appa’s grandfather, performed, thread ceremony, so Appa became eligible to perform yearly ceremonies of his father! Appa performed his father’s(my grandfather) ceremony until the last day of his life, every year, with so much of ‘Shradde’(dedication), bhakthi(devotion) which I haven’t heard or seen, in my life time. Well, I like to explain, why am saying not heard or seen, because, Appa don’t h

Good morning!  In my part of the world it’s morning.  It’s the same sunrise, cloudy, it’s Saturday, spring has begun, a day like this, would have started busy, filled with enthusiasm.  But it’s the same sunrise and sunset and same cloudy, rainy, still chilly mornings, flowers blooming.....but there is, a huge amount of silence, a calmness, which is filled with scare! It’s irony that, nature has not stopped even a second but life has come to a state of stillness which is not healthy, which is not right. As Appa always used to say, there are things beyond all these scientific reasonings and logic!! Which I feel at the every step of the way, now, is so true, so true.  There are things which are not under our control, nor money, power, science, intelligence can fix it, buy it or rectify the current situation! As Appa would say in Sanskrit, ‘Budhi Karmanu Saarini’!  Means A man’s mind always function under the influence of past karmas’! So under current circumstances, this fits well.  

Happy 2020!  Kind of sad, that 2019, I did not write anything!  Well, if ask a question, how was 2019, can’t say, in one word as, ‘good, bad, sad, horrible, fantastic, successful.....’!  It’s very subjective, and it depends on, how you measure and in what terms and what are the things you taken into consideration, when you decide as good or bad or sad or successful or fantastic or  okay or not just okay! You measure, based on materialistic, personal, relationships, or over all? So many areas, may be the happiest, many may need more effort, improvements, many might be disappointing....! So  I generally don’t measure, or give lot of importance to these kind of end of the year or beginning of the year questions and also I stopped doing, the new year resolutions from last two years! The resolutions which I can’t stick to or follow up or it’s the same monotonous things, of exercise/diet/being a better person.....which actually should not be a resolution but a must to do, on a daily basis!