8 Years, today!

 Good morning! It's again June 2nd, and its 8 years since Appa passed away. Year by year is passing away but the pain, the grief, the empty feeling, the lonely feeling, has not reduced but has actually deepened, sinked and constant! 

Remembering him has become just a part of me, there is not like a single moment I would not have thought of him or his words or some moment I would have connected with him, or watching tv, I see someone or some scene, or some song or a dialogue, it would automatically connect with him. I just wonder how amazing is brain, it connects so easily and aptly (at least for me it sounds right) every time. 

So I do not have to make an effort to remember him at all. So June 2nd he left 8 years ago, but I don't have to wait for June 2nd to remember him! He is always there, somewhere, in my head. 

Just two days back I was watching a show with girls and in that show, a brother and sister, would be talking about their Dad's perspective and one arguing he is not right and the other trying to convince he is right. And finally both agreed that he is just a Dad at the end of the day, always wishing and wanting the best for his kids. I mentioned to girls, that how I wish and miss that, it never happened in my life at all.

My brother and myself were never in the same town after marriage and never could share something like that. Yeah we have spoken and still speak about him million things, but on a daily basis we could not connect in the way, in that show they were discussing...! 

I have missed million moments with him like that....but cherish so many memories of him dearly. His wise and wisdom, his knowledge, his capacity to handle things, his analyzing a situation as suppose to jumping into a conclusion is amazing, commendable and valued and respected the most. 

Appa's calmness in what ever life throws, to a situation is one of the best role modeled and I always try to calm myself down at the stressful situations, thinking about how he might be doing. As he always used to say and call himself as a 'self made man', as he lost his Appa at an young age of 4, he had to take care of his mom and sister and build his own life. It's an incredible journey and story of his life which I deeply respect, applaud, proud, love him the most. 

As I was having my second dose of coffee, after breakfast, with my daughter, I remembered him, with respect, love, gratitude, thankful, and most of all I miss him millions. Love you Appa!