Birthday
Where and what should I start with, today!! Mind is kind of blank or rather I can say, very silent today! Birthday! Yeah it's my birthday, today!! Kind of funny, that I myself is writing about it...! Well, for a person like me, who is introvert and don't feel the need of attention, mentioning about my own birthday, seems bit silly and childish!?
Anyways, I already did, lol, so like to express with you, that this birthday I felt that I am an orphan!! Orphan is a person without parents! And yes I lost both of them, in less than a year! I am an independent adult, married, with kids, a busy mom, husband travels for work, so have some extra weight of responsibilities and duties on my shoulder!
But that does not mean that, I have to behave like an adult and move on....! I miss both of them terribly! I was my "Dad's Princess"! My birthday was always a special one, always filled with love, and happiness and always felt on top of the world, since he(they) used to make it feel that way!
My Dad, never wished "Many happy returns....or Happy Birthday" verbally, since he was not a guy, who can express feelings or emotions in words, but the things he used to do for me....always made me feel very special, very unique, on top of the world and like princess!
He never said "I love you or I miss you...", but the warm hands, the soothing words, the unconditional belief, trust, love, never expected anything from me, the sadness that used to fill his eyes when I leave......was much more than those 3 letter words!
Today, not hearing his voice..made me very sad and depressed! I am remembering him a lot today and I am understanding the real meaning of "absence, void, missing.." today! Now I am realizing that, this is it, life will move on, without them....!
The whole day, did nothing much today, husband and kids were so caring and understanding that they wished me before going to office/school, writing me a wonderful card, at the same time, respecting and giving me space, that this year is very hard for me to deal with, so I would not want to celebrate, nor eat any cake or dessert!! But got me a cookie from school canteen and sent messages before going to lunch to check on me, blown me away!
This post was a tribute to my Dad, who was a awesome, amazing, wonderful, caring, thoughtful and who always wished, blessed and prayed for me! Remembering him on my birthday is a way of me expressing, that I truly love him, I value him, I am great full to him and my heart is filled with gratitude for him!
Anyways, I already did, lol, so like to express with you, that this birthday I felt that I am an orphan!! Orphan is a person without parents! And yes I lost both of them, in less than a year! I am an independent adult, married, with kids, a busy mom, husband travels for work, so have some extra weight of responsibilities and duties on my shoulder!
But that does not mean that, I have to behave like an adult and move on....! I miss both of them terribly! I was my "Dad's Princess"! My birthday was always a special one, always filled with love, and happiness and always felt on top of the world, since he(they) used to make it feel that way!
My Dad, never wished "Many happy returns....or Happy Birthday" verbally, since he was not a guy, who can express feelings or emotions in words, but the things he used to do for me....always made me feel very special, very unique, on top of the world and like princess!
He never said "I love you or I miss you...", but the warm hands, the soothing words, the unconditional belief, trust, love, never expected anything from me, the sadness that used to fill his eyes when I leave......was much more than those 3 letter words!
Today, not hearing his voice..made me very sad and depressed! I am remembering him a lot today and I am understanding the real meaning of "absence, void, missing.." today! Now I am realizing that, this is it, life will move on, without them....!
The whole day, did nothing much today, husband and kids were so caring and understanding that they wished me before going to office/school, writing me a wonderful card, at the same time, respecting and giving me space, that this year is very hard for me to deal with, so I would not want to celebrate, nor eat any cake or dessert!! But got me a cookie from school canteen and sent messages before going to lunch to check on me, blown me away!
This post was a tribute to my Dad, who was a awesome, amazing, wonderful, caring, thoughtful and who always wished, blessed and prayed for me! Remembering him on my birthday is a way of me expressing, that I truly love him, I value him, I am great full to him and my heart is filled with gratitude for him!
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