Memories....
It's been 4 months, since I blogged....! But today, I just wanted to share or put my things out, so here I am!
This morning I was in beauty parlor, I was getting my eyebrows done....! It's a small beauty salon, with 4 chairs and couple of staff or beauticians, as you can call them. I go there, since the people are very nice, caring and I know them very well now.
I heard the door opened, the door has a small glass chimes, so whenever the door opens, you can easily know. Since I had closed my eyes, I could only hear, the chime sound and people talking...!
A lady came inside, and said "She is my mom, will you do her eyebrows, I need to go and pick up my son from daycare, I will come back in half hour?" So the beautician said, "Sure, we will do"!
And again I heard the door chime, and thought, the lady must have left....! Now I heard, the "mom" sitting next to my chair and immediately started talking in hindi, national language of India, with the beautician.
She said, "I am her mom, I came two months ago, since my daughter is working and has small kid, I help her to take care of the kid and do cooking"! I imagined she must be bit older, may be in late 60's, hearing her voice, which was bit shaky.
She started to ask the beautician, where are you from, in India, how long have you been here? The weather is crazy here, I don't like neither I can adjust to this weather changes, am looking forward to go back.....!
And then she asked "Do you visit India?" The beautician attending her answered, yeah, "I visited in December". Then she asked "Do you like here(America), better or back India?"!! The beautician answered...."What can you do, now your home is here....."! For that the old lady, kind of laughed out loud!
I wanted to open my eyes and turn back and see the old lady...but I could not. That voice, the shaky, kind of pain filled voice, asking the same question.......I remembered my Dad, my Appa, who almost every time of my visit he used to ask me "Do you like there, now you must have adjusted to that life, and no plans of coming back.."!
I used to feel a lump in my throat to answer to those questions, I used to observe his face, very little smile and sadness, and the shaky voice....that always haunts me, always! He never asked or expected anything from anyone, that too from me, never, ever! But when he asked that question, my heart used to beat fast and I used to feel very sad, to answer....!
He never said he missed me, he never said, oh I want to see you!! But those questions, his voice, his face filled with sadness, those eyes filled with pain, said lot more things, than words could do! I used to feel miserable, all those moments and always used to haunt me, it still does.....!
Today when I heard the same question, same shaky voice, same laugh...I imagined how that old lady looked....must be, like my Dad! I felt like crying out loud and say "Appa, I miss you"!
And beautician had finished doing my eyebrows, I opened my eyes and tears rolled down, which I could not hold off, and the beautician thought, she was too fast and harsh in doing my eyebrows and I got hurt...she said "oh sorry"! I just said, its okay.....I did not explain to her, that the tears rolled from my eyes was cause of hearing to the conversation and remembering my Dad, and not because I was hurt or anything!
Then I came home...husband was waiting, it was past lunch time...so ate lunch, then kids came, gave them snack, helped them in home work and was cleaning dishes, then everybody went out to get some fruits and vegetables, and I stayed back home, since I had little headache.
I made some coffee and wanted to immediately share with you all.....!
Just few days left....exactly, 22 days to go, it will be a year, Appa also left us...! But not a single moment has gone without remembering him....like today's instances, there are many moments, in a day, I keep remembering him and Amma.....! Where ever they are, I hope and wish, they can see and understand that I love them and miss them terribly and respect and value them!
Happy Mother's day in advance! Thanks for reading my blog!
This morning I was in beauty parlor, I was getting my eyebrows done....! It's a small beauty salon, with 4 chairs and couple of staff or beauticians, as you can call them. I go there, since the people are very nice, caring and I know them very well now.
I heard the door opened, the door has a small glass chimes, so whenever the door opens, you can easily know. Since I had closed my eyes, I could only hear, the chime sound and people talking...!
A lady came inside, and said "She is my mom, will you do her eyebrows, I need to go and pick up my son from daycare, I will come back in half hour?" So the beautician said, "Sure, we will do"!
And again I heard the door chime, and thought, the lady must have left....! Now I heard, the "mom" sitting next to my chair and immediately started talking in hindi, national language of India, with the beautician.
She said, "I am her mom, I came two months ago, since my daughter is working and has small kid, I help her to take care of the kid and do cooking"! I imagined she must be bit older, may be in late 60's, hearing her voice, which was bit shaky.
She started to ask the beautician, where are you from, in India, how long have you been here? The weather is crazy here, I don't like neither I can adjust to this weather changes, am looking forward to go back.....!
And then she asked "Do you visit India?" The beautician attending her answered, yeah, "I visited in December". Then she asked "Do you like here(America), better or back India?"!! The beautician answered...."What can you do, now your home is here....."! For that the old lady, kind of laughed out loud!
I wanted to open my eyes and turn back and see the old lady...but I could not. That voice, the shaky, kind of pain filled voice, asking the same question.......I remembered my Dad, my Appa, who almost every time of my visit he used to ask me "Do you like there, now you must have adjusted to that life, and no plans of coming back.."!
I used to feel a lump in my throat to answer to those questions, I used to observe his face, very little smile and sadness, and the shaky voice....that always haunts me, always! He never asked or expected anything from anyone, that too from me, never, ever! But when he asked that question, my heart used to beat fast and I used to feel very sad, to answer....!
He never said he missed me, he never said, oh I want to see you!! But those questions, his voice, his face filled with sadness, those eyes filled with pain, said lot more things, than words could do! I used to feel miserable, all those moments and always used to haunt me, it still does.....!
Today when I heard the same question, same shaky voice, same laugh...I imagined how that old lady looked....must be, like my Dad! I felt like crying out loud and say "Appa, I miss you"!
And beautician had finished doing my eyebrows, I opened my eyes and tears rolled down, which I could not hold off, and the beautician thought, she was too fast and harsh in doing my eyebrows and I got hurt...she said "oh sorry"! I just said, its okay.....I did not explain to her, that the tears rolled from my eyes was cause of hearing to the conversation and remembering my Dad, and not because I was hurt or anything!
Then I came home...husband was waiting, it was past lunch time...so ate lunch, then kids came, gave them snack, helped them in home work and was cleaning dishes, then everybody went out to get some fruits and vegetables, and I stayed back home, since I had little headache.
I made some coffee and wanted to immediately share with you all.....!
Just few days left....exactly, 22 days to go, it will be a year, Appa also left us...! But not a single moment has gone without remembering him....like today's instances, there are many moments, in a day, I keep remembering him and Amma.....! Where ever they are, I hope and wish, they can see and understand that I love them and miss them terribly and respect and value them!
Happy Mother's day in advance! Thanks for reading my blog!
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